1. Happy 20th birthday, my dear Theresa. I wish I could be with you to celebrate it, but I can’t. I hope you’ll have a happy one. Once again, happy birthday, my dearly beloved Theresa… I love you…


  2. It’s always nice to just talk to someone that you care about, even though that person doesn’t care about you. 

  4. I’ve been waiting 5 years for this…

  5. I fucking love Ivy Doomkitty.

  6. I’m a member of the Survey Corps now…

  7. My Google overlord is so thoughtful of me.


  8. Happy 21st, dear ol’ me. 


  9. My mom asked me if I had a girlfriend, so I told her, “your son is gonna die a sad and lonely old man”.

  10. Much love from Malaysia… Thank you, guys.

  11. I never knew Uncle Varg was so kawaii.

  12. Thanks for the memories, guys…

  13. Sick show last night.

  14. A little something for the lads tomorrow…


  15. I have nothing much to say about you. I hate you a lot and I can never ever say I love you or even care about you. It’s funny, you wanted me to be a footballer when I grow up, but I said; “Not in this fucking country”, you thought I’d be a Liverfool supporter as I grew up, but instead I grew up to be a Gooner. 

    But I am thankful for a few things you’ve done for me. I’m thankful for all those old classic punk cassettes you got me when I was 12, I’m thankful for that Epiphone you got me years ago, and I’m thankful at the fact that you were a punk in the days of your youth. And that’s it, that’s all I can say about the things that you’ve made me feel quite happy about. And I suppose those are the only things that I’ll probably remember you for, because most of the things that reminds me of you usually piss me off. 

    But at the end of the day, I’m still the person who came from your ballsack, and the person you call ‘son’. Happy birthday, old man.